Impractical Hedgehogs: Season 1
by BADA555W0RD
Summary: A parody to Impractical Jokers. Sonic, Shadow, Silver, and Blade try to humiliate each other through "jokes." I only some of the jokes and Blade. Rated M for extremly offensive jokes.
1. Episode 1-Part 1

Me: Fuck it I'm doing this!

* * *

**Wal-Mart**

* * *

Sonic: We are at Wal-Mart helping out at a counter.

Shadow: But we will have to do what the other people say.

Silver: If they don't do it, they lose.

Blade: Sonic's up first.

5 min. later, Sonic was in a Wal-Mart employee uniform, and had a communicator in his ear.

The others were in a security room, with access to the cameras and a microphone.

Blade: You hear us Sonic?

Sonic gave a thumbs up to a nearby camera.

A female dog customer walked up to Sonic's aisle.

Shadow: How was your day...

Sonic: How was your day,

Shadow: Bitch.

Sonic looked down, while the other three were chuckling.

Sonic: Bitch.

The customer looked at Sonic.

Sonic started scanning.

Silver: Hey Sonic, the PA is broken and you NEED a price check.

The three hedgehogs were chuckling.

Sonic: God dammit, PRICE CHECK ON 7!

Silver: Call for the manager.

Sonic: LARRY I NEED A PRICE CHECK ON 7!

Customer: Why aren't you useing the P-

Sonic: It's broken, LARRY, I NEED A PRICE CHECK ON 7!

The three hedgehogs were laughing tears.

Sonic grabbed a 6 pack of aspharagus, which I don't know how to spell.

Sonic: PRICE CHECK ON ASPHARAGUS, ASPHARAGI!

Blade: Sonic, go find the manager now.

Sonic: Wait here okay.

Sonic zooms through the store.

Sonic: LARRY, PRICE CHECK ON 7! PRICE CHECK ON 7!

Sonic returned with the hedgehogs laughing.

Sonic: I forgot...Larry's off on the weekends.

**Sonic passed.**

Silver: Shadow's turn.

Sonic and Shadow flipped roles.

A sexy, female cat (not Blaze) came walking with a few items.

Sonic: Shadow, greet her like you would a princess.

Shadow gave a WTF face at a nearby camera. Then faced the lady.

Shadow: Hello, royal customer...

The three hedgehogs are laughing fits.

Shadow:...how was your afternoon in Wal-Mart?

Customer: Uhm...Okay...I suppose.

Shadow scanned her gallon of milk.

Silver: I don't think that scanned Shadow, scan it again.

Shadow slowly scanned it again.

Silver*gigglish*: Nope, try again.

Shadow scanned it again.

Silver: Keep scanning it buddy.

Shadow kept scanning the milk 99 times.

Customer: Uhh...what are you doing?

Shadow: Sometimes, the scanner gets stuck, so I got to make sure it scans.

25 scans later...

Shadow: Your total is $1,234.99.

Blade: But, it will be free...

Shadow: But, it will be free...

Blade: If you bang me in the bathroom right now.

Shadow: If you...uh...if...if...

Customer: If I what.

Shadow's pride was too much for him.

Shadow: If you bang me in the bathroom.

Blade: HOLY SHIT! HE SAID IT!

Sonic and Silver were dieing laughing.

Customer: I was thinking of breaking up with my boyfriend soon, so sure.

Blade: WHAT...THE...FUCK!

Shadow was walking off with the cat in his arm.

Shadow: So what you name?

**Shadow wins.**

Silver walked up to aisle 7 after Shadow's episode.

An old lady walked up to the aisle.

Sonic: Silver, isn't that your Gramma?

The others chuckling gave Silver the clue.

Silver: GRAMMA!?

The hedgehogs were laughing up so much that Shadow was actually laughing.

Customer: I'm not your gramma.

Silver: Oh sorry, thought you were.

Shadow: You have her sexiness.

Silver hesitated the sentence.

Silver: You...have...her sexiness.

The other were laughing.

Customer: Thank you. That's...kind...of you.

Silver scanned her coke.

Blade: Silver ,under the desk is a pack of mentos.

The other two were aweing in idea.

Blade: Grab it.

Silver did.

Blade: Open the bottle up.

Silver did, with a WTF face on the customer.

Blade: Open up the pack and insert them all in there.

Silver did. If you don't know what happens next, long story short...

Silver: Larry...Clean up aisle 7. Clean up aisle 7.

**Silver wins.**

Blade and Silver exchanged positions.

Sonic: Instead of having you do something, Blade, I had the store do a little something special for you.

Blade: What do you mean?

Sonic: You'll see, now.

Two random employees took a sign and put it in front of aisle 7.

The sign read: Blade the Hedgehog, Employee of the Month.

Above the text was an ugly baby pic of Blade.

The three hedgehogs laughed.

Blade: 1 dick shot for Sonic.

The three cracked up more.

A customer walked up. Unfortunately, Blade knew her.

Ensis: Blade, you work here?

Blade: Oh god, hi Ensis.

Sonic talked to the audience.

Sonic: For those who don't know, Ensis has a crush on Blade.

Shadow: Then...

Shadow takes the microphone.

Shadow: Hey Ensis, give me a blowie and this will be free.

Blade bit his lower lip while the others laughed.

Blade scanned all the items.

Shadow: Gotta say it.

Blade shook his head.

The other three awed in a come on!

**Blade lost.**

**Score bored:**

**Sonic- 0 losses.**

**Shadow- 0 losses.**

**Silver- 0 losses.**

**Blade- 1 loss.**


	2. Episode 1-Part 2

Me: I meant to do this last part, so I will do this now. What's got Shadow on his "Sexyside."

Shadow: If you bang me in the bathroom right now.

Me: Why' Blade singing songs of love?

Blade: I love you, you love me...

Me: What is getting Sonic to become a criminal.

Sonic: I met you...at the meth lab.

Me: And what has our biggest loser show THIS?

* * *

**Mall**

* * *

Sonic: We are at the mall trying to get people to settle our arguments.

Blade: But we don't know what we're arguing about. That will be given by the other two.

Shadow: IF you can't get someone to to go "on you side," you lose.

Silver: Tourney style!

**Shadow and Blade-Round 1**

Shadow: The Ultimate Life Form will not lose to something simple as arguments.

Blade: Have to disagree with you, Shadow, hae to disagree with you.

They walk up to a random civilian.

Shadow: Excuse me, but we are having an argument and we would have a third party to settle it.

Civilian: Okay.

Sonic: We are trying to decide...

Blade: We are trying to decide...

Silver: Which little kid show is the best to watch.

Shadow: W-which little kid show is the best to watch.

Sonic: Shadow, you think it's My Little Pony.

Shadow: I think its My Little Pony.

Silver: Blade, you think its Barney.

Blade: And I think its Barney.

Silver: GO.

Shadow: Alright, so what else seems more friendlier, cuter, and lovable than a bunch of colorful, magical ponies.

Sonic: This is soo embarrasing for Shadow.

Blade: I'll tell you right now, a purple dinosaur that everyone loves. Even the kids sing-_I love you, You love me..._It shows that the show shows friendship by song.

Shadow: But, what little girls don't hate, maybe even love? Ponies.

Blade: This purple dinosaur also teaches a bunch of other things other than friendship.

Shadow: Well, who do you think won the argument?

The civilian pointed to...

...

...

...Blade.

Blade: Thank you sir.

**Blade wins.**

**Sonic vs Silver-Round 2**

Silver: I have been voted the best arguer in the world you know.

Sonic: Yeah, that won't help you here.

Shadow: Blade, ready to go historic on their asses.

Blade: You betcha.

Sonic and Silver found an adolecent cat male.

Blade: Perfect.

Sonic: So we are trying to settle an arguement, can you help us.

Civilian: Sure...

Shadow: We are trying to decide,

Sonic: We are trying to decide,

Blade: Which constitutional amendment is more important.

Silver: Which constitutional amendment is more important.

Blade: Sonic, you think it's the 27th amendment.

Sonic: I think the 27th amendment is more important.

Shadow: Silver, you think the 30th amendment is more important.

Silver: Well, I think its the 30th.

Blade: Go.

Sonic: The 27th amendment-Right to Bear Awesomeness.

Blade: There are only 26 amendments, ditwit.

Silver: The 30th amendment-Right to Bear Robots.

Shadow: Dafuq.

Sonic: Without my amendment, we would all have the same haircuts, same clothes, same whatever. With the 27th, we get to show off.

Silver: The 30th, everyone likes robots, they do everything for you, chores, jobs, maybe even that annoying homework. Without the 30th, you would still be doing you homework.

Sonic: Without the 27th, that robot would be the same as the others. It won't be badass.

Silver: Without the 30th, you wouldn't have a robot anyway.

Sonic: Well, which would you say is better?

Civilian: You probably.

Sonic: Thank you sir. I WON THE ARGUEMENT SILVER!

**Sonic vs Blade-Championship**

Blade: May the best person win.

Sonic: Which is me.

Blade: You get another dickshot.

Sonic: Well what about that wolf right there.

Blade: How about that pink hedgehog right there?

Sonic: Rock paper, scissors?

Sonic won, so they went to the wolf, which was...

Ensis: Hi Blade.

Blade: Hey, we are settling an argument, and we want you opinio-

Ensis: I will go with your stance.

Blade*to Sonic*: BAD CHOICE ASSHOLE!

Shadow: We didn't have to give our arguments.

Silver: What a relief.

**Blade wins**

**Scoreboard:**

**Sonic-1 loss**

**Shadow-1 loss**

**Silver-1 loss**

**Blade- 1 loss**


	3. Episode 1-Part 3

**Station Square. **

* * *

Sonic: Me and Blade are competing to not be the biggest loser, the challenge, get a stranger to say they know you.

Blade: However, the others are going to hold up these "cards" which is what we have to say.

Sonic: If the stranger says he or she doesn't know you, you lose.

Sonic walked towards a cream hedgehog.

Sonic: Hey, don't I know you?

Stranger: No...

Sonic: No I think I do.

Shadow held up a card saying _I met you at the meth_ _lab. _

Sonic: I met you at...the meth lab.

The other three cracked up laughing.

Stranger: You got the wrong person.

Sonic: No, no. I...

Silver held up _Ate 5 ft chili dog. _

Sonic: I ate that 5 ft long chili dog.

Stranger: Well, what's my name?

Sonic: Your name is... Bob.

Stranger: Robert, but close enough.

Sonic: Great to see you again man.

**Sonic won.**

Blade walked up to a blue echidna.

Blade: Hey, don't I know you?

Stranger: Nope. *walks off*

Blade: Dafuq.

Sonic: Guess what Blade, you lost.

Blade: Dammit.

**Blade lost.**

**Blade is the biggest loser.**


	4. Episode 1-Part 4

**A Local Community College. **

* * *

Sonic: Everyone who knows Blade knows he hates dragons.

Shadow: So not only is he gonna teach a class of college students how to have a pet dragon...

Silver: But also show a presentation that he doesn't know about.

Sonic: Get in there Blade.

Blade enters the classroom.

A powerpoint screen shows _Dragon Taming 101: How to Train your dragons._

Blade: Alright, welcome to Dragon Taming 101: How to train your dragons. My name is Blade, and I will be your teacher for the day.

Sonic: Good intro buddy, your gonna need it.

Blade activated the next screen, which said _Polish the Scales often._

Blade: Polish the scales often.

Blade read as he went frther into the powerpoint slide.

Blade: It costs a lot of money to clean a dragon. Make sure you check for the common debris...Dirt, Water, Debris, and most likely, blood.

Blood was underlined and shown in all caps, as a scream was activated when the word came up.

Blade: Make sure you nuder your dragon. 1 dragon is quite enough to moniter, and you don't want thins happening.

A video was shown of two dragons mating.

Blade: Make sure you keep it happy, it will destroy the town if it's angry. And you will get a lot of this guy...

A video of a hedgehog on fire was shown, and it made the audience laugh, for he was screaming random things.

At the end, the video said, _That's why you don't mess with a dragon's dick._

Blade: Moving on. Dragons eat meat, sometimes even cows.

Another video was shown of a cow being eaten by a dragon, but the cow was "talking."

Cow: No, no no no, no, no, NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!

Blade: Poor cow. Anyways, stay away from female dragons on their period. Obviously, they will eat you. And finally, stay away from dragon hunters, they will not hesitate to kill your dragon.

A video of Blade kicking a dragons ass was shown, but at the end, it showed text _ I used to be a dragon hunter, then I took an arrow to the knee._

Blade: And that is the end, except Barney would like to play a trick.

The Rick Roll music video played. Instead of the guy's head, it showed Barney's.

Blade: Thank you, class dismissed.

**End of Punishment**


	5. Episode 2-Part 1

Me: In this episode, is Shadow gay?

Shadow: Hello, sexy.

Me: Why is Sonic jumping into a fountain?

Sonic: GERONIMO!

Me: What is getting Blade self-defensive?

Blade is trying to punch Silver.

Me: And will our biggest loser not be dinner?

* * *

**A Random Park**

* * *

Sonic: We are gonna try out our new invention guys!

Blade: When our voices normally sound like this, *speaks into microphone connected to a box* Now sound like Morgan Freeman.

Shadow: We will have to guess which hedgehog is giving us challenges, and if we guess right, they have to do it...

Silver: But if we guess wrong, we have to do it. The game ends when one of us refuses or fails to do the task.

Sonic walks to a random spot in the park.

Blade: Can you tell who this is?

Sonic: No clue.

Shadow: I need 1 million dollars.

Sonic: I will find you, and I will kill you.

Shadow: Prepare to be taken.

Sonic: Alright gimmie a challenge.

Blade: You see guys, you will have to give something that someone else would give, for example, *speaks into mic* Sonic, go jump into a fountain.

Sonic: Hmmm, that's a toughie. Shadow would do anything to kill me, while only Silver would say something s childish as that.

Blade: He has no idea it was me!

Sonic: So I chose, Shadow.

Silver: You have to jump into the fountain buddy.

Sonic: WHAT!

Blade: That was Blade saying that.

Sonic: It was Blade?

Sonic saw the fountain.

Sonic: GERONIMO!

Sonic jumped into the fountain, then came out soaking wet.

Shadow: Ready fr the next one?

Sonic: Yep.

Silver: Burp someone.

Sonic: Silver.

Silver: WTF!

Sonic: Only Silver would say something as stupid as that.

Silver: What ever.

Silver walked up to a blue dog.

Silver: Hey, you, let me burp you.

Stranger: What?

Silver: Let me burp you. Come on, you burp me, I burp you.

Silver started patting the dog on the back.

Silver: Ready, 1 2 3...

The two people burped.

Silver: Thank you.

Sonic: My turn, Silver, steal the mustard from that hot dog stand.

Silver: I am suspecting Sonic, because he likes anything chili dog related.

Sonic: Dammit.

Sonic, using his unnatural speed, quickly grabbed the mustard without anyone noticing.

Now, a certain pink hedgehog was seen jogging into the park. Sonic see's her, as well as everybody else. But she doesn't see him.

Shadow: Sonic, there's Amy, kiss her, this is Shadow, this is Shadow the Hedgehog.

Sonic: I see her, and I don't wanna kiss her.

Shadow: Kiss Amy Rose, this is Shadow the Hedgehog faker.

Sonic: I don't know, that could be Blade.

Blade: NOPE! That was Shadow!

Sonic: OH NO NO NO!

Silver: Gotta kiss her man.

Sonic: I am not kissing her.

Blade: Aww, well, that's gonna end our fun.

**SCOREBOARD:**

**Sonic: 1 loss.**

**Shadow: 0 losses.**

**Silver: 0 losses.**

**Blade: 0 losses.**


	6. Episode 2-Part 2

DISCLAIMER: This will contain some ocs that aren't mine. Shimmer belongs to TailGatomon and Gold belongs to Gold the Fox.

* * *

**Random Restraunt**

* * *

Sonic: For once, we have dates!

Shadow: Despite the fact that the others chose them.

Silver: We will have to say what the others tell us.

Blade: If we don't, then we lose!

Sonic walks up to a table, ready for the unexpected. Even though this wasn't really unexpected.

Amy: Hello Sonic!

Sonic*sighs*: Hi Amy.

Shadow: Did you know you look sexy tonight.

Sonic*thinking*: It's just Amy, you can say it and not get slapped, well, maybe from kisses, but anythings better than her hammer.

Sonic: Did you know you look sexy tonight.

The other three were laughing while Amy blushed.

Amy: Oh, well, thank you.

They waited until the waitress came.

Silver: Sonic order the exact same thing she orders.

Amy ordered Iced Tea, Sonic ordered Iced Tea. Amy ordered a salad, Sonic ordered a salad.

Amy: Sonic, you always order chili dogs, why stop here?

Blade: Because I'm overweight.

Sonic: Because I'm overweight.

Blade: Didn't want you to catch me!

The three laugh while Sonic looks down.

Sonic: Didn't want you to catch me!

Blade: Good job Sonic.

**Sonic passed.**

Blade went up to the table expecting Ensis. Coincidently,

Ensis: Um, hi Blade.

Blade waved back.

Sonic: You look very pretty.

Blade*thinking*: I wasn't the one who said that asshole.

Blade: You look very pretty.

Ensis: Thanks.

Sonic: I made a big mistake running away from you.

Blade*thinking*: The hell is Sonic planning?

Blade: Um, I made a big mistake running from you.

Ensis: I...forgive you.

Sonic: No you don't, nobody forgives me.

Blade: No you don't, nobody forgives me.

Ensis: Well I do.

Shadow: I will do anything to earn your forgiveness.

Blade: I will do anything to earn our forgiveness.

Ensis*evil grin*: Anything?

Blade: *gulps*

Shadow: Even allowing you to come over my house.

Blade: Even...allowing...you to come...over to...my house.

Ensis: Its a date! What time?

Silver: Blade, what Shadow made you say, YOU WERE JOKING AROUND!

Blade*thinking*: I hate you Silver.

Blade: Gotcha! Was thnking to pull that one on you.

Ensis: ...OH, HAHAHA! You sure got me!

Blade: *sigh of relief*

**Blade passed**

Silver: Yay, I get a girl.

A fox-hedgehog female came and sat down across from Silver.

Fox-hedgehog: Shimmer.

Silver: Silver.

Sonic: I garantee that you will love me...

Silver: I garantee that you will love me,

Sonic: Because I'm, a dumbass!

Silver: ... ... Because I'm a dumbass!

Shimmer: Well, thats nice. So what do you do.

Shadow: I'm a hooker.

Silver: I'm...I'm a...h-hooker.

The three shared a good laugh, while Shimmer rolled her eyes.

Shimmer*thinking*: Great, not only did those three hedgehogs paid me to put up with this dumbass, but he's a hooker.

Silver: So, what do you do?

Shimmer: Well, I don't really have a job, but you can say I can kick ass real well.

Blade: Silver tell her that she's weak.

The three shared a laugh, but Silver said something else while putting a thumbs down to them.

Silver: So if I asked you to kick me friends' balls, you would do that?

**Silver failed**

Shadow: You are aware that I am a lady killer, right?

Blade: We know, that's why I paid this GUY extra.

Shadow: Any reason you put an emphasis on "guy."

Shadow's question was answered when an arctic fox sat across from him.

Stranger: Name's Gold.

Shadow*thinking*: Fuck you three.

Shadow: Shadow.

Sonic: You look really hot.

Shadow: Y-y-you l-l-look r-really...h-h-hot.

Gold: Um...thank you.

Gold*thinking*: Ionia, why did I accept that brown hedgehog's money?

Gold: So, um, what do you do?

Silver: I'm a government assassin.

Shadow: I'm a government assassin.

Silver: Now Shadow, tell him that he was acting suspicious.

Shadow*gulping*: You look very suspicious.

Gold*looking around the room thinking*: Eon save me!

Blade: Sing that "got my eyes on you song."

Shadow: *sigh* I got my eyes on you...

The three shared a laugh while Gold was very nervous.

Shadow: Your everything that I see!

**Shadow passed.**

**Scoreboard:**

**Sonic- 1 loss**

**Shadow- 0 losses**

**Silver- 1 loss**

**Blade- 0 losses**


End file.
